Monday, July 20, 2009

Making You Feel Better By Making You (Feel Like) Crap

There is a guaranteed method of making sure that a surgical patient will heal quickly. Apparently, it has to do with making that patient feel as NASTY as possible prior to the surgery so that, in retrospect, the patient is duped into thinking that s/he is "recovering" when in point of fact, s/he is NOT recovering, but is merely returning to the baseline point of health that would have existed after surgery had not the patient had to:
* Become dehydrated.
* Go 24 hours without solid food.
* Poop. A lot. For hours.
* Lose sleep.
* Poop some more.
* Go an additional 24 hours with hospital food.

So, I'm just pointing out that when you arrive at the hospital for surgery, and you feel extra-rotten, it's just a trick. They are tricking you.

Don't let them trick you!!

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