Shove My Head in a Chanel Bag and Send Me to Manhattan

I have had it.
I am done, done, done.
I want to win the lottery, shove my head in a Chanel bag, move to New York, and become a Lady Who Lunches.

I'm completely serious.

I just don't give a shit anymore about "caring" in my work-a-day life. I don't care if what I do impacts anyone positively, because, oh, honestly, it doesn't. Show me ONE PERSON who read something I wrote and was moved to, say, get a mammogram, or go to the VA and get a check up for prostate cancer, or anything that would improve their lives or health or whatever.

I am sick of trying to push for what's informative, thoughtful, and correct, only to be told:

* This isn't very well written.
* You really don't understand the medical literature.
* This isn't your best work.
* You really don't understand our audience.
* You really don't have a sense of the corporate voice.
* This isn't very tight.
* This is confusing.
* You don't understand the relationship between copy and design.
* The designers know how to design, not you.

So listen up, all of you (and you know who you are): You are all correct! I have spent the past 20 years of my life learning nothing. I'm no smarter than I was the day I left high school. I understand jack shit about healthcare communication. I wasted $30K on graduate school and should not have bothered. Congrats.

I'm going to quit this bullshit field and go do what I do best: Shop, drink, and eat.

Have a nice day.

Why I Can Never Be POTUS

I cannot ever be President of the United States of America because if I were Barry O., I would make a speech to Congress that would go something like this:

"You are a bunch of total asshats. Why in god's name do we spend more, per person, on healthcare, but are the LEAST healthy developed nation in the world? Why? I'll tell you why: Because YOU ARE ASSHATS who can't see beyond your own re-election coffers funded by Pfizer.

Now stop being stupendously moronic ASSHATS, and pass a healthcare bill that guarantees everyone some kind of basic, affordable, quality healthcare that won't result in 62 percent of all individual bankruptcy filings being related to medical bills."

(P.S. I was BORN IN HAWAII, which, by the way, IS PART OF THE UNITED FUCKING STATES.)

And that is why I will never be POTUS. Hang in there, Barry.