Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Today's News from Planet Crazy

Okay, so, let me see if I understand life on Planet Crazy with President Crazy of the United States of Crazy.

We, the taxpayer, can pay to bail out a partially-government funded entity from which we borrowed (and are paying back) money to buy a house.

We, the taxpayer, can pay for a loan to JP Morgan Chase to buy Bear Stearns with mortgage-backed securities as collateral. (See above on borrowing money we funded with our taxes in the first place.)

We, the taxpayer, can fund our own debt with a tax rebate.

We cannot however, be fiscally irresponsible by letting Medicare recipients get care. After all, who cares that doctors will no longer accept Medicare patients because they simply cannot afford to? Those silly doctors. All they care about is the hundreds of thousands of dollars of medical school debt and malpractice insurance they owe.

Perhaps doctors should start working with hedge fund managers to use mortgage-backed securities as payment to the Medicare system. That way, whenever a home-owning Medicare patient arrives for treatment, the government will get paid with the money it originally loaned to the Medicare recipient to buy his/her house which came out of his or her taxes anyway.

Well kids, that's another episode of Life on Planet Crazy with President Crazy here in the United States of Crazy.

Tomorrow: Lifting offshore oil bans so that we can use mortgage-backed securities to buy homes for oil-soaked harbor seals in Iraq!

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