Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Attack of the Dirty Sweatpants!!!

It's beginning...the signs are all here!

How can I tell it's happening? Yesterday's decision to watch—on cable no less—My Stepmother Is an Alien featuring the preteen pairing of the later-to-be-paired as-teens Alyson Hannigan and Seth Green, was a sure sign.

It continued with today's almost total sloth-and-channel-surfing-filled afternoon. Highlights include:
• Sleep until 10:00AM
• Turn on TV. Surf between "E! Presents Plastic Surgery Nightmares", "Haunted America", parts of "Semi-whoremade Cooking"
• Make a quick trip here to blog
• Stop by Go Fug Yourself
• Leave GFY, skipping off to YouTube to watch a Celine Dion video
• Wikipedia loaded; look up Queen Elizabeth 1 and Tila Tequlia
• Compelled to still watch "Haunted America" with really bad "factual reinterpretations"
• Eat granola from bag. Call it "lunch"
• Begin to worry, quite seriously, about the U.S., and about me

The transformation is not complete. I did do some job-hunting related work, and I read an article in The New York Times about the slow failing of Christian Republican conservatism. (Also, my sweats are clean and I did laundry. Plus, yesterday I left the house and socialized with another human—however, she's embraced a Mom-based lifestyle, so technically, was as desperate as I am.)

If it so happens that I don't bathe for three or more consecutive days, and I begin to defend Cheez Whiz and Chardonnay as a complete breakfast, call my gay husband. It's time for an intervention.

Until then, I will ice my knee and love my severance!

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