Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Damp 'n Trashy? Don't Despair! Use The Bates Method®

Ever find yourself at an unfamiliar yacht club, wondering what time they shut down launch service?

If you're plagued by this pesky problem, you can use the patented Bates Method® to safely return your drunken passengers to shore!

It's a simple 10-step method to solving one of a sailor's biggest challenges:

1. After drinking heavily, call the yacht club three times even though there are NO lights on.
2. Upon getting no answer, unlash your trash-filled Zodiac.
3. Pile guests and Insta-Navigator® into trash-filled Zodiac.
4. Active Insta-Navigator's powerful flashlight.
5. Motor gingerly through large yachts in unfamiliar waters.
6. As engine cuts out, do not panic. Solve problem; restart engine.
7. Continue gingerly motoring through unfamiliar waters.
8. Arrive safely at launch dock.
9. Toss trash onto dock. Wave goodbye to well-fed, yet bosky and ungainly friends who fall merrily into soggy trash.
10. Go back to boat. Sigh with relief. Fall asleep.

(Insta-Navigator® not available on all cruises. Alcohol not provided on all cruises. Please read instructions carefully. When used properly and according to package directions, The Bates Method will usually result in fun and laughter. However, fun and laughter are not guaranteed. Guests not provided.)

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