Why I Can Never Be POTUS

I cannot ever be President of the United States of America because if I were Barry O., I would make a speech to Congress that would go something like this:

"You are a bunch of total asshats. Why in god's name do we spend more, per person, on healthcare, but are the LEAST healthy developed nation in the world? Why? I'll tell you why: Because YOU ARE ASSHATS who can't see beyond your own re-election coffers funded by Pfizer.

Now stop being stupendously moronic ASSHATS, and pass a healthcare bill that guarantees everyone some kind of basic, affordable, quality healthcare that won't result in 62 percent of all individual bankruptcy filings being related to medical bills."

(P.S. I was BORN IN HAWAII, which, by the way, IS PART OF THE UNITED FUCKING STATES.)

And that is why I will never be POTUS. Hang in there, Barry.